“Far from random human inconveniences, strangers are actually one of the richest and most important resources we have.  They connect us to the community, teach us empathy, build civility and are full of surprise and potentially wonder.”  David Sax, Journalist

“Sometimes when I’m feeling alienated from the human race, or baffled by the actions of another, I remind myself that every single person wants to be loved.  This isn’t a particularly rigorous thought about human psychology, but rather something that seems broadly true.  The reminder doesn’t mean I have to love everyone, but it makes their decisions a bit more legible.”  Melissa Kirsch

“Be kind.  For everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”  Author unknown

“Never regret being a good person to the wrong people.  Your kindness says everything about you.  Their behavior says everything about them.”  Quote from Writers and Authors 

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Have you ever attended a large social event or a networking event where you find yourself standing alone, seeking someone to share your thoughts with?  Do you look about the room in search of another friendly looking person suffering the same party loneliness or do you grab your cell phone and check your texts?

Personally, in my heyday, I loved to meet new people.  I wanted to know who they were, what company they worked for, why they were in this room, and just how we may be possibly connected in our respective lives.  Very frequently, I found a connection.  We both knew someone from another time in our life or perhaps I knew someone that worked for the firm this person was with, or perhaps we are both chasing the same project and looking for the same business connections.  Often I found that we were possibly related, three or four times removed.  And yes, sometimes I bombed out and the conversation went nowhere and we both found ourselves staring at each other wondering what to say or do next.  We both simply moved on.

I read this interesting piece from Melissa Kirsch of the New York Times where she writes that it has become very easy to avoid talking to strangers.  We stick headphones in our ears when we walk, we wander over to the self-checkout lines to avoid conversing with the cashier, we sit at home and shop on the internet in the comfort and silence of our home office, and, of course, we always have our faithful companion in our purse or pocket that connects us to the entire universe.  Perhaps we resort to conversing with it, asking AI just what to do next?

Networking is an important ingredient in the recipe for success in business.  The more people you meet, the more people you get to know, the more businesses you are connected with, the more options for landing your next revenue producing job.  One thing I know for sure is that if you do not attend the Construction Forum Awards luncheon this coming Thursday, you will not meet or interact with any of the 200 plus industry professionals in the room.  That is quite the opportunity to let slip by.  If you are one of the 200 plus that made the positive move to be in attendance and if you do not introduce yourself to at least three (hopefully five or more) complete strangers, you are missing another opportunity.  Don’t ignore your friends but seek out people you do not know from Adam and say hi; drag them into your conversations with your friends.  If you have heard about their company, let them know that and let them know you would like to know more about how they work, what they do, and how the two of you may find some success working together.

The SLC3 industry organization supplies all of us in the industry with a plethora of opportunities to meet each other.  Go to one of their lunches and sit in between two people you do not know with name tags bearing the name of companies you have never heard of.  If you are lucky, maybe the two people across from you are complete strangers as well.  That is a huge win…but only if you make it a win, you have to be aggressive and introduce yourself and you have to listen to what they have to say.  By the time the lunch is over you have made three or four new friends, setting yourself up for email or text exchanges to further explore the relationships.  Success.

Hard to do, you say?  Not really  As the quote above says “strangers are actually one of the richest and most important resources we have.  They connect us to the community, teach us empathy, build civility and are full of surprise and potentially wonder.”

It is that pursuit of “wonder” that I always loved about meeting new people.  Melissa says…“Full of surprise and potentially wonder!  Why would we spurn such marvels?”  Fear of rejection is the huge reason I suppose.  Fear that you will have to keep digging to make the conversation continue into oblivion.  My advice is to overcome that fear and be the one that breaks the silence, be confident enough in yourself that you are interesting enough to make the encounter worthwhile, even if the other person has nothing to offer.  I always chalked it up to the fact that if the person had nothing to offer, that is still something.  “Never regret being a good person to the wrong people.”

Successful networking is made up of three steps.  First, you have to register, put the date on your calendar, and record the time and place.  Second, on the date of the event you actually have to make the commitment to go and not talk yourself out of attending at the last minute for some excuse that you know is not really an excuse.  And finally, you have to insert yourself in the conversation once you are in the room, make yourself known to others, search for new friends and relationships.

Maybe you can climb that mountain and find success without networking and meeting new people, but wouldn’t it be more fun to bring a few people along on that mountain climbing trip?  Someone to hold on to or cry on their shoulder?  Aren’t we all looking for some level of “surprise and wonder” on the road of life?

Have a great week everyone.  Let’s all get on the road and find each other and see how we can help each other.