I find myself fascinated with this Brett Kavanaugh nomination; the man; the process; the compelling stories; the throwback to high school and college days.

Although always interested in politics and the people that rule this great country, I have never been a strong political guy. I have always been one to see both sides and vote for the person that I felt had a heart and a passion for working for and behalf of all people. That could be a member of either party.

With the Trump nomination and the first two years of his presidency, it seems that all my prior thoughts and beliefs on politics has changed. I now seem to be immersed in this revolving soap opera and seem to find it necessary to not miss an episode; especially when a good story or plot comes along, such as the recent nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. Personally, I wish I could jump off this bandwagon, but I somehow feel it is my duty to see this through to the end; to take Dr. Christine Blassy Ford by the hand and make her story worthwhile and meaningful for men and women, past, present and future.

Maybe the compelling part of this story is the high school and college memories. I find myself re-living many parties; social events of all kinds; that Halloween night party at Al Nenninger’s cabin; Mike Fuerth’s prom night bonfire party at his country residence; and a few others that pop to my mind. My high school career took place from 1959-1963, seemingly a simpler time in life—certainly a time long before the sexual revolution. As my good friend, Jim, always says—the sexual revolution started the day after he got married.

I could relate to Brett Kavanaugh telling the Senate committee that his high school days were consumed with church, studies, athletics, social meetings of various clubs; etc. When was there time to drink? My high school days were somewhat the same. I had a paper route right after school; I played baseball a couple of years; for a period of time I delivered milk before school; I worked as a delivery boy after my paper route almost every night; and it seemed that outside neighborhood and family and church events were one right after the other.

I also do not remember ever—yes, I mean ever—going to any house party in high school where the parents or some form of adult chaperones were not present. Maybe I just ran with the wrong crowd. I also do not remember drinking excessively in high school—when was there time and just how did one purchase the beer? Where would we drink? Sure, there was the occasional party such as the Halloween night cabin party mentioned above but that was a group of guys getting wild and crazy on one night of four years of high school. No girls present and probably a good thing, although I will say that all boys present at that very innocent party were good guys, drinking or otherwise.

Like Brett Kavanaugh, I liked beer and I drank beer. If left alone and given the opportunity to socialize with other drinkers in my high school years, boys and girls, on an unsupervised basis, I am not sure how my life would have turned out? As high school days and years turned into college days and years, the occasions to party and drink were elevated. In the State of Missouri, the drinking age was 21 so one still had to skip around the law to make alcohol part of their party regime. This was not a problem to Brett and his friends in that the drinking age was 18 in his state. But still, my drinking days were limited. I lived at home so possibly that kept me on the right path. I also worked 40 to 60 hours per week at various jobs so that would certainly hamper a young boy’s drinking time. I am not trying to paint myself as an angel in high school or college but can safely say that drinking and partying and assaulting females was not part of my culture.

Thinking back, I do not remember ever being in a social setting of any kind with multiple people involved where I was slurring my words; stumbling around; being belligerent; or being abusive to anyone, especially my female friends. On the few occasions where beer was involved in late high school years, I remember some of my friends being totally changed in personality having consumed one or two beers. Some kids can drink a dozen cans of beer and appear perfectly normal while other kids could consume one or two and turn into a Brett Kavanaugh type of personality. In the recent Senate hearing, Brett was asked how many beers he would drink in a night and he would not answer. I would have liked to have known that answer. He simply said “whatever the charts say” which I thought was one of the stupider answers of the session—and this coming from a nominee for the United States Supreme Court. There is no chart for how many beers one can consume before normal behavior is impacted. A dozen or so for me; one or more for some of my friends. I can’t imagine Brett and his friends being much different.

I had many female friends in grade school, high school and college but I did not date all that often. We certainly gathered together as friends on many high school occasions, but one on one dating did not seem to fit my schedule or degree of maturity. My dating in high school consisted of a couple prom nights, mostly surrounded by other friends. I had great respect for all females and could not imagine ever doing anything disrespectful to them, sexual or otherwise. Only on a few occasions in college, did I witness anything close to sexual harassment and when I did I intervened on behalf of the female immediately and/or took myself out of any situation where sexual disrespect seemed to be the endless topic of conversation. I suppose I could get myself through a Supreme Court nomination, at least on this front.

So, who is this Brett Kavanaugh guy—will the real Brett Kavanaugh please stand up?

Where were these parties held that boys could stand in line and wait for a turn with a drugged-up female? It would seem to me that there would be one kid in the room that would have the decency to help this female; or at least leave the party and seek some outside help for her; maybe yell and scream to his friends urging them to do something? Where all the kids stumbling drunk? In those very few situations I found my self in the middle of a drinking party, certainly there were many kids that were far from drunk; simply having fun and wanting to be part of a regular, social party.

On the night in question where Dr. Ford described the incidents of the house party where she was assaulted, one must wonder how she could leave that party of such a few people without anyone noticing? How does she leave her good friend behind and her good friend not even miss her? And being only fifteen, the question of how she got home from this party seems to be quite relevant—especially since it seems she did not live close. I find it odd, although understandable after thirty-six years, that Dr. Ford does not have some sort of clearer remembrance of the exit from this party. The escape from the scene of the crime.

That is not to say that I do not believe her. Compelling to me is that she says she knew Brett and Mark and Brett and Mark knew her. In her testimony she talked about Brett and Mark, using their first names at ease, as if she was talking about friends or well-known acquaintances. At one point she says she “looked at Mark and made eye contact and thought that he might help her” but he did not. You can’t tell me that Mark does not remember that moment, regardless of how drunk he was. That statement stuck a knife in his heart if he was watching.

I would think that any person with a good and caring heart simply wanted to give Dr. Ford a big hug after that testimony. For anyone to think she is making this story up for political reasons is totally absurd and most probably has political views slanted towards the Republican party. She was assaulted, and Brett Kavanaugh and Mark Judge were the assaulters, pure and simple. After her testimony, all that was left to consider was the “so what?” factor. In this day of Trump, the “so what” factor is becoming more and more relevant. Not sure anyone seems to care all that much anymore. We will see this in full evidence when the current investigation of the Russian meddling is completed. A report will be issued and regardless of the findings and the evidence, not much will come of it—other than what may take place in the voting booths. We will also see it in full view at the end of this one-week FBI investigation.

Let’s take the sexual assault and sexual harassment stories out of this equation for a moment. Is Brett Kavanaugh really someone we want on the Supreme Court? I would not hire a man of this temperament for any sort of managerial position, nor would most major corporations of today. His attitude toward our systems; his total disregard for the nomination process; his arrogance and insulting comments to those questioning him; his obvious leaning towards one government party over the other; his child-like temper tantrums; and his general disregard for civility in a court room should be reason enough to have this nomination withdrawn. What is keeping our President and our leaders from doing this? This display of temper, arrogance and total disregard for professional courtesy has nothing to do with sexual assault or harassment and more importantly, was in the current day and time; not thirty-six years ago as a youth.

Brett reminds me of a rich kid who has always had his way; always been at the top; always had the right friends; captain of all the sports teams; always being the guy leading the way, the life of every party, the kid with the ball. And now, just short of his major goal in life, his true colors are being raised. By people that seemingly were not major players in his life. Who the heck is this fifteen-year old kid that is now ruining his perfect little life? What gives her the right to do this? His reactions to this very serious situation are like daddy taking away his Mercedes convertible the night before the prom. He is lost; he does not know what to do; and so, he throws a tantrum.

I realize we are all different, but if I were totally innocent of all these charges I would be working with Dr. Ford and other accusers to help get to the bottom of their accusations. I would not only welcome further investigation, by the FBI or others, I would want to be a part of it. For god’s sake, I sure would have watched her testimony along with the rest of the nation. When Brett was asked if he watched Dr. Ford’s testimony, he responded with a very lackadaisical “no” as if he could have cared less what she said. Would you really sit this one out if you were totally innocent and knew emphatically that the only answer to this accusation was that she was assaulted by others? Wouldn’t you be hanging on every word she said? Looking for some clue to just why she thinks you were the assaulter? Sure you would; how could you not be?

Personally, I do not need a further FBI investigation of this matter, but I certainly welcome it. I doubt though that it will change the future. It will confirm that Brett Kavanaugh partied and drank to excess; he is or was a belligerent drunk and he sexually abused women in his early days and possibly much later in life; and he was and is not quite the good church going choir boy that he made himself out to be. If you listen to the majority of the Republican senators, this will not change their vote. They seem to need more; although not sure what the “more” would be? Short of discovering there was a video camera in that bedroom that captured the entire scene, most Republicans are sold on the veracity of Mr. Kavanaugh. They listened to Dr. Christine Blassy Ford, but did they?

I also fully realize that all people do not feel like I do regarding Brett Kavanaugh’s performance before the Senate Judiciary committee but surely a few of those fifty-one Republican senators share my sense of this rather disturbing performance by Mr. Kavanaugh? Some felt his display of temper and disrespect for everything that moved was quite what the doctor ordered at this time of his life. They seem to believe that he was entitled to all the screaming, crying and temper tantrums that he felt was necessary. They felt sorry for him; felt he was being treated unfairly by the democrats; felt this whole line of questioning was a “sham”; they were apologetic for him losing his reputation and his life.

Quite frankly, I fear that the majority of the fifty-one senators do not feel that the assault on Dr. Ford was that big a deal—especially in that time frame of life. Maybe each of them did the same sort of thing at their parties? I wish I was wrong with this thought. I think the event that Dr. Ford described in detail was huge. Dr. Ford sure felt it was huge and really, isn’t that what matters here?

This voting on the party line time after time, regardless of circumstances or facts, is beyond reason. What other area of life do we know where this type of party loyalty exists? This goes for both Republicans and Democrats; our political system is about as broke as any system can be. These guys do not work for the people or for their constituents; they work for their party. To have all of one party vote one way with the other party voting the other way—especially with over a hundred personalities involved, simply does not make sense given the complexity of the issues involved in this story.

I have an admiration for Jeff Flake, the lone Republican senator who demanded the FBI investigation as a requirement for his YES vote; but a guarded admiration. He should have been a strong “NO” vote along with several others, from the beginning, with or without an FBI investigation. He should have voted a resounding NO to keep the matter in the Senate Judiciary Committee. I will take what I can get but I am not ready to put Mr. Flake on a pedestal. I find myself wondering what John McCain would have done?

In addition to the Republican senators, I have heard so many others say they feel sorry for Brett Kavanaugh. I do not. I do feel sorry for Dr. Ford and for all the women that Brett assaulted and disrespected sexually in his youth and up to this time in his life. I feel sorry for all the women that have been sexually assaulted and have held their story within. I feel especially sorry for all those women who stepped forward beyond bravery to tell their story only to be ignored and brushed aside, adding insult to the deep injury they suffer within. I feel sorry for Brett’s wife and family just now finding out what type of personality this man was in high school and college. Somehow, I do not feel they are just finding this out though?

This is not a trial; we are not trying to send Brett Kavanaugh to jail or even to “time out”. We are simply trying to decide whether to hire him. The job he is applying for, being nominated for, requires an exemplary background; not one mixed with sex, booze and disrespect for mankind. Is this man really the right person to serve a life time appointment on the Supreme Court making law to protect women as well as laws to regulate the social behaviors of our land?

Regardless of how this story ends and what the FBI uncovers or formulates into a clearer picture, Brett Kavanaugh, if he had any decency at all, for himself and his family; for Dr. Ford and her family; for his other accusers and all women who partied with him and Mark Judge; for all women everywhere who have been sexually assaulted; and for the people of the United States—he should withdraw his nomination.

Certainly, the man in charge will not have the good sense to do it for him.